a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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