sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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