Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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