I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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