You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize