I've blown a few things in my day
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize