I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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