I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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