I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
