I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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