you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
