I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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