69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Never underestimate the power of titties
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
