I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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