roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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