I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
