He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
