so explain again why im purple
no
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
