So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
