There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
