Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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