i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
