Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
