finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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