i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
