So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
