Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
