Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
