We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize