She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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