You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
