when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
