I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
How external is "for external use only"?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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