I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
