I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
