i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
