All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
porn star boner night. come get it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
