Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
