I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
