I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
