yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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