Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Welp...herpes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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