He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
