omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
