my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
