one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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