i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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