he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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