WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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