So drunk its hurt
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
