Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Randomize
