He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
