some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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