...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Randomize
