brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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