i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do vagina's smell?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize