then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I didn't notice because vodka
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
