i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
