i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
