but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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