I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize