ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
