Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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