I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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